So… You’ve lost a friend.
Sometimes, romantic break ups aren’t what hurt most. Sometimes it’s a friendship breakup.
As someone with abandonment issues and an anxiety disorder, losing anyone- especially a friend, can be extremely difficult. It’s not only hard to let go, but hard to move on. You spend your days missing them, and your nights wondering what you could have done wrong, or done differently to prevent it. When you’re going through a romantic break up, you lean on your friends for support. But when it’s a friendship that ends, who do you turn to? Hopefully, another friend.
The bitter truth is that you are going to lose friends throughout your life, however unpleasant it may be. Sometimes you meet people and you really click, and later down the line things may start to go sour. I’ve been friends with people for years, but lost them during major life changes. It’s easy to maintain a friendship through good times, but not everyone will stick around through the rough parts.
Sometimes, friends grow out of each other. You become different people and want different things, and you realize you don’t fit into each other's lives anymore. It’s sad, but it’s true.
And sometimes, you lose friends over a falling out. This one hurts the most as an anxious girlie. I’ve lost friends in very messy circumstances, and there’s nothing you can do except get through it. Every part of you is going to want to reach out and explain yourself to them, while somehow simultaneously hating them, but you can’t do any of it. You have all of these memories and this love and loss and nothing to do with it.
You’ve got grief.
You have to treat a friend break up like you would any other. You have to feel your feelings, do the hard work, lean on your other friends and family for support, and find some kind of activity that brings you joy and takes you out of your head. This is the only way you’ll be able to process and heal. It might seem impossible, but if I can lose friends with a panic disorder and still make it through, so can you. There is comfort in knowing that hard times are temporary.
